When Do We Learn Self-Love and Self Esteem?

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From about the age of 2 until 7, we learn self-love from Mom. If mom loves herself and us, we learn to love ourselves. If Mom doesn’t love herself, it is difficult for us to learn self-love. To learn self-love, it might require looking at and healing our relationship with our mom. Examining our lives between the ages of 2 – 7 will be helpful.

Then about the age of 7, we notice there’s a man in the house, Dad. From Dad, we learn self-esteem, earned loved, from the age of 7 until about the age of 12. If we are able to earn Dad’s love, we will have a healthy self-esteem. If we are not able to earn Dad’s love, we could have self esteem issues. If we have self-esteem issues, it might require us to look at and heal our relationship with Dad. We can begin to heal by examining our lives between the ages of 7 – 12.

About the age of 13 – 17, we learn about peer relationships outside the home. If we love ourselves and we have a healthy self esteem, peer relationships will be much easier than if we have issues with self love or self esteem. If we have difficulty with peer relationships, is it more about self-love or self esteem – learned love? Knowing which might be more the issue will give us a starting point to begin healing the significant relationships in our lives.

© Tessa Cason, 2020.

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