We Are Not Our Story

We Are Not Our Story

Some of you believe that your story is your identity. It is not. You believe that your stories are real. They are not.

It’s as if you attended a masquerade ball then, forgot it was a ball and assumed the identity of the mask you were wearing, believing it to be your identity.

You are not your story. Your story is not your identity.

You were playing hide-and-seek, then you forgot it was a game and felt lost and afraid. You assumed your identity was a confused, disorientated failure unable to find their way out of the forest of conflicting choices.

All Beliefs Benefit Us As Well As Harm Us

Some of you make yourself wrong when your dysfunctional beliefs impede your progress. The dysfunctional beliefs have value. In some way, these beliefs are protecting you.

For example:

Belief: I am not able to change. I’ve tried. Things might change for a short time then, go back to what they were. I can’t change. I’m a failure when it comes to change. I stay stuck in a rut that I want out of but keep slipping back into the rut whenever I try to get out.

Let’s take a look at some of the possible reasons you are not able to change.

Do you have a clear and focused direction you want to take your life or would you end up wandering aimlessly? Is the world a threatening and scary place? If so, do you have the courage, the skills needed to deal with a threatening scary world? Would it be okay and safe to wander aimlessly if the world is dangerous?

You can’t change. You complain that you are stuck. Maybe you aren’t stuck. Maybe it’s about the beliefs that you have that the world is a threatening place. Your body is here to keep you safe. Yet, you find fault with yourselves that you aren’t changing then, end up thinking you are a failure at change.

Do you have the tools and skills needed to change? Do you have the knowledge needed that the change you want to make would require? If you don’t and tried changing, you could end up failing, being humiliated, losing money, the respect of others including yourself. So you don’t change. Yet, you are getting angry at your story and failure for not changing.

Someone may not change if they have a connection need, a belonging need. If change meant leaving their friends in the dust and change could jeopardize those friendships, most likely, change will not happen.

If security is someone’s top need, if the changes they want to make aren’t sound, change won’t happen. If the changes they want to make would take them into the unknown, they may not change if they lack the courage, skills, knowledge, support of a guide…and the list goes on.

Benefits and Disadvantages

There are benefits and disadvantages of each belief we have. For example:

* I allow my fears to paralyze me.

The benefit for allowing your fears to paralyze you is that it keeps you safe from injury, the unknown, and even death. The disadvantage is that it doesn’t allow you to move forward.

* I compare myself to others when going through change.

Benefit: By comparing yourself to others, it keeps your safe and secure from moving forward, risking defeat and rejection. Disadvantage: It keeps you stuck, feeling less than, and disempowered.

* It is not okay to say “no” to anyone.

Benefit: Feels good to be the go-to person that everyone depends and relies on. Feels good to help others. Disadvantage: Angry at yourself for being a people pleaser.

Every belief, whether dysfunctional or not, has advantages and disadvantage, they benefit as well as harm us. They serve us and topple us.

When looking at the beliefs, most of you are only seeing the harm, the negative result of the dysfunction belief. You don’t seem to also understand how the belief has served you, kept you safe from failure, rejection, hurt, destruction, harm, death…

The body is here to protect us. Their actions are based on our beliefs, healthy or dysfunctional. If we don’t have the tools and skills needed to move forward, the body will keep us stuck to keep us alive!


Just as a computer can only do what it has been programmed to do, we can only do what we have been programmed to do. Our programming is our beliefs. All of our thoughts, feeling, attitudes, decisions, choices, habits, actions, reactions, experiences, and personality are determined by our beliefs. Our beliefs precede all of our thoughts, feelings, decisions, choices, actions, and reactions.

Within each of us is a wholeness that as we release that which does not serve us, this Infinite Wisdom will automatically move us into health, prosperity, and well-being.

How do we know what doesn’t serve us? Anything that does not move us toward fulfillment, contentment, joy, peace, love, and enlightenment.

In order to heal, we have to become the observer of the participant. We live our lives as well as be the observer of our lives. This objective observation gives us the opportunity to evaluate, analyze, learn, grow, and evolve. By becoming the observer of our lives, by being curious, by listening to the wisdom of our lives, we will have amazing insights into who we are. We will discover the pure light and energy of our being.

We are not our story. Our stories are our opportunities to heal if we are able to put the self-pity, disappointments, and/or hurt aside, observe our life, and ask, “What might that person believe if they acted that way, if they thought those thoughts, if they have that habit…”

If we want to transform our lives, we have to change our programming, change our beliefs, we need to know what the beliefs are that need to be changed. Being the observer of ourselves (without judgment), observing our actions and reactions, listening to the words we select, the attitudes we have, and the thoughts that fly through our mind will lead us in the direction of healing.

Mind chatter is one way our bodies are telling us what needs to be healed.

If we hold onto our “stories,” if we believe our stories are real, we will not be able to recognize, acknowledge, and take ownership of that which is blocking our well-being.

We cannot change our lives until we are able to recognize, acknowledge, and then take ownership of what which we want to change.

@ Tessa Cason, 2022.

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