When Do We Learn Self-Love and Self Esteem?

From about the age of two until appx. seven, we learn self-love from Mom. If mom loves herself and us, we learn to love ourselves. If Mom doesn’t love herself, it is difficult for us to learn self-love. To learn self-love, it might require looking at and healing our relationship with our mom.

Then about the age of seven or so, we notice there’s a man in the house, Dad. From Dad, we learn self-esteem, earned loved, from the age of seven until about the age of twelve. If we are able to earn Dad’s love, we have a healthy self-esteem. If we are not able to earn Dad’s love, we could have self esteem issues. If we have self-esteem issues, it might require us to look at and heal our relationship with Dad.

Then about the age of thirteen – seventeen, we learn about peer relationships outside the home. If we love ourselves and we have a healthy self esteem, peer relationships will be much easier than if we have issues with self love and/or self esteem. If we have difficulty with peer relationships, is it more about self-love or self esteem – learned love? Knowing which might be more the issue will give us a starting point to begin healing the significant relationships in our lives.

@ Tessa Cason, 2022.

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