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The Art of Asking Questions
Whether we are asking our Intuition, muscle testing, and/or using a pendulum, wording is KEY. The statements and/or the questions you ask determine the validity and accuracy of the information you are seeking. Wording of a question/statements may be the most difficult aspect of working with your intuition, muscle testing, and/or a pendulum.
First you must define the objective, goals, and/or the intent of your inquiry. With this in mind, phrase your statements/questions such that this objective is being fulfilled. You could state, “It is in my highest and best good to move cross country to live with my boyfriend” and the pendulum responses in the affirmative. You move cross country. Spent all your funds moving and now have a zero balance in your checkbook. After a month of looking for a job, you are still unemployed and then your boyfriend ends the relationship and asks you to move out. Now, you have no place to live nor money to rent another place or go back home. Yikes! “But…!!!”
So, let me ask ya, can you learn through love and joy? Or is the way you learn is through pain and struggle? The subconscious is literal. No emotions. No feelings. No judgement. Just facts and beliefs. Growth is one of your highest values. If you have the belief that “the only way I can learn is through pain and suffering,” it will answer in the affirmative, yes, it is your highest and best good to move cross country and live with your boyfriend. Pain and growth are synonymous. You were assured growth by doing so!
Let’s re-examine this inquiry:
1. Highest and best good…
2. Move cross country…
3. Live with my boyfriend…
For starters, it is best to keep the number of factors in your statement to a minimum. One, if possible.
Tessa: What is the object of your inquiry?
You: To know if I would be happy moving cross country to live with my boyfriend.
T: Are there other factors involved in this inquiry?
Y: Well, yes. It is a necessity for me to get a job as quickly as possible. My boyfriend doesn’t want to support me solely. He wants me bringing in an income. It will take almost, if not, all my funds to move. Thus, I would like, I need, to get a job as soon as possible.
T: Have you looked into how easy this might be?
Y: Yes. I’ve looked in the paper and online.
T: Have you spent an extended period of time with your boyfriend, in his space?
Y: Yes. For our vacations, I usually fly cross country to spend time with him. The longest I have stayed was for two weeks. Everything worked out well.
T: Define “happy”.
Y: Happy. Well, I do understand that no relationship is trouble-free. It has it share of problems. Negotiations is important.
T: Have the two of you had to negotiated anything in the past?
Y: Yes.
T: And, how did that go?
Y: It was interesting. He wanted his way, typical man, you know. He pouted, got angry, wouldn’t talk to me until I finally gave in.
T: Does that work for you?
Y: Well, sometimes. I realize I need to compromise. I can’t always have my way.
T: Is marriage important to you?
Y: Yes.
T: And for him?
Y: It is not as important to him as it is to me. He’s still thinking about whether he wants to be married.
T: And, this is ok with you that he doesn’t know if he ever wants to marry.
Y: Yes. I think, well, I am hoping that once we live together for a while, he will not want to spend the rest of his life without me. Wishful thinking, I know. My eyes are wide open.
T: Define for me again, the object of your inquiry.
Y: I can see that has changed. I would like to know if it is worth the gamble to move cross country and set up house with this man.
T: Everything is a risk and a gamble in life.
Y: Okay. Not definite enough.
T: Can you break your inquiry down into categories?
Y: Actually, I can. One has to do with finding a job and the monetary arena. The other is the relationship.
T: Which is the most important?
Y: That’s a toughie. It is important to him that I pay half, pay my share. He doesn’t want to support me. Moving out will drain my funds totally. The relationship is equally as important.
T: Which is primary? Would you be looking for a job in that area if he was not living there?
Y: No. So, I need to determine if the relationship is good enough for me to leave behind everything I have here.
T: Good enough?
Y: Satisfying? Fulfilling? Worthwhile?
T: How about thinking more long-term, more workable, doable, feasible, viable?
Y: Okay. I get ya. I’m thinking more emotional. You are thinking more practical. My head is up in the clouds. You have your feet on the ground.
T: Which is more important to you?
Y: Actually, more practical. Feet on the ground would be best. When my head is up in the clouds, it is difficult to see reality.
T: So, what is the real need? What is your objective now?
Y: I need to know if this relationship is strong enough to endure the everyday stresses of life.
T: The relationship? You? Or him?
Y: There is a difference, isn’t there. Okay. Each of us, in this relationship with each other.
T: Anything else? Any other objective? Any other need?
Y: I guess, I would like to know if we do live together, will he get bored or will he want us to be together a lifetime? Rather than assume he will feel as I hope he will feel, it might be better if I knew before I moved out.
T: Predictive questions are tricky. We could ask in what direction is he leaning at this time. We can ask, if in the future, after living together for an extended length of time, would that change. It would be wise to have a discussion with him, to confirm for yourself the answer you received.
Y: I would have been hesitant before this. Now, I see it is better to deal in reality, what is rather than make believe and what I hope will be. It is my responsibility to take care of myself and not assume that everyone else will also have the same objective to take care of me.
T: Well stated. This can be your intent with this inquiry. The intent can be that you are responsible for yourself, your well-being, and happiness. You stated earlier your need. You stated that you needed to know if this relationship is strong enough to endure the everyday stresses of life. Your objective then is to make the wisest decision at this time with the information you can gather.
Y: Sounds good to me.
T: First, we have to ask permission to ask questions about him in this arena of his life.
Y: Okay. Done.
T: Let’s make a list of the statements/questions.
Y: Okay.
T: With these statements, you can either get a yes or no answer, or you can quantity the answer on a scale of 1-10 with 10 high. Let’s work up a few statements:
A. On average, day in and day out, he calibrates on the Map of Consciousness at ____.
B. Living together under the same roof, this relationship can comfortably handle the stresses of everyday life.
C. Living together under the same roof, I can comfortably handle the stresses of everyday life, with this man.
D. Living together under the same roof, he can comfortably handle the stresses of everyday life with me.
E. We can successfully negotiate the stresses of everyday life and conflicts with each other.
F. He can successfully negotiate the stresses of everyday life and conflicts with me.
G. He uses manipulation to get his way.
H. Our styles of handling conflict are compatible with each other.
I. Within the first 6 months of living together, he will be bored and/or lose interest in our relationship.
J. Within the first 6 months of living together, he will be bored and/or lose interest in me.
K. Within the first 6 months of living together, I will be bored and/or lose interest in our relationship.
L. Within the first 6 months of living together, I will be bored and/or lose interest in him.
M. Our styles of handling money are compatible with each other.
N. Day in and day out, on a scale of 1-10, how much of a priority are my emotional needs to him.
O. He is willing to fulfill my emotional needs.
P. The amount of time each of us requires from the other is compatible.
It is possible that as you become more “aware,” as you gain clarity, there may be a sift within yourself and the answers. For example, if he isn’t willing or able to meet your needs, your energy might have shifted. If he uses manipulation to get his way, you may decide he isn’t mature enough to deal with real life problems and the way in which you prefer to resolve and solve problems.
Nothing is etched in stone. Energy, our essence is constantly shifting, changing, adapting, growing, evolving…
© Tessa Cason, 2021.
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