Pay-offs for NOT Creating Our Desired Reality – Pay-off #1 Avoidance

Pay-off #1 Avoidance

Why would we not want to create a successful reality? Why would we not want success, happiness, peace, fulfillment, and love?

Instead of success and happiness, we are seduced by pain and suffering. In our society, we have a belief, “No pain, no gain.” Usually we don’t change until our backs are against the wall, until we’ve reached “rock bottom,” when change becomes a must.

There are “pay-offs” for not creating a successful, prosperous, fulfilling, joyful reality. Usually we have one or two that is our go-to pay-off.

Families have a pay-off that run in the families that might also play out in our lives as well. Might not be our first go-to pay-off but pops up every now and then.

The seven pay-offs are:
Pay-off #1 – Avoidance
Pay-off #2 – Blame
Pay-off #3 – Self-pity
Pay-off #4 – Guarantee
Pay-off #5 – Self-righteous
Pay-off #6 – Self-importance
Pay-off #7 – Clinging to the past

Pay-off #1 – Avoidance – for Not Creating Our Reality

If you keep doing what you have always done, you will keep getting what you have always gotten.
Peter Francisco

We would rather avoid…success, failure, being loved, loving, being alone, being with others, challenges, risks, responsibilities, obligations, fears, and the list goes on.

Take success, for instant. Think back to all the statements you have heard about success. “It’s lonely at the top.” “How will you know who your friends are?” Your “friends,” do they want to be with you because of you, the person you are or because of your success and what it would mean for them?

What about Personal Power? “Power corrupts.” “Powerful people are conceited, ruthless, driven, thoughtless, and self-centered.” Why would anyone want to be powerful?

“You can’t have it all.” “Money brings nothing but unhappiness.” “Money is the root of all evils.” “Will you remember me when you get rich and famous?” “What would I do with the money? I don’t know anything about investing. I’m not smart enough to figure it out. I would hate to lose it all if I had any.”

Are you a good steward of money? If you had financial wealth, would you spend it wisely? Would you be responsible and accountable? Or would it “go to your head”? Is it okay to say “no” to someone in need and less fortunate than yourself? Does saying “no” make you selfish, incite insults that you are thinking of no one but yourself? Do you just avoid the whole scenario?

I had a client that inherited $500,000…and became very popular. Six months later, he had less than before he received his inheritance. His bottom line? It was not okay for him to have more than anyone else. When his new friends asked for something, he would fulfill their wish and/or need. He bought one person a $30,000 car. Another asked for money for a down payment on a house. For another he paid their school tuition. When all the money was gone, so were the friends. When he was evicted from his apartment, the person he gave the down payment to for a house, would not even let this man live with him.

Pay-off #1 is Avoidance…What am I avoiding? What failure am I avoiding? What success am I avoiding? Am I avoiding the responsibility of success? Am I avoiding obligations? Challenges? Fears? Anger?

When we do not feel we have the tools and skills to manage our lives, finances, successes, and/or relationships, we will avoid taking action, making decisions, moving forward in our lives, and/or getting involved in relationships. Avoidance.

EFT Tapping Statements for Pay-off #1 – Avoidance:
* It is safer to avoid than to take a risk.
* I don’t have the courage to live my life fully.
* I am afraid of my own shadow.
* I am stuck in fight-flight-freeze.
* Something bad might happen if I take a risk.

© Tessa Cason, 2021.

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