I Take on Other People’s Pain

Tuning Forks

Let me begin with, I know this blog will be controversial for some and they will disagree with me.

Okay, here goes. Do I feel and/or believe that we take on the pain of another? No.

“What?” you say. “No?”

What I do believe is when someone is in pain and we have the same pain, it strikes a resonance within us. It’s as if a tuning fork was struck, placed next to us, and our tuning fork starts to vibrate within us.

A tuning fork can only start another tuning fork vibrating if the second tuning fork has the same resonance as the first tuning fork. If something is not an issue for us, not true for us, we will not be impacted. We are impacted when we have the same issue as someone else has, the same pain as they have.

We don’t take on other people’s pain. If we have the same pain, their pain strikes the resonance inside of us and thus, we begin to feel our pain making it seem we are taking on someone else’s pain. We aren’t actually “taking on” someone else’s pain.

Example, as a child, you were the last selected for any team. As a result, your confidence and self esteem are low. As an adult, talking to a friend that is having problems as a result of their lack of confidence and self esteem, you feel their lack of self esteem on a visceral level…with every cell of your being. You think it is compassion and empathy. It might be compassion and empathy except you felt it on a cellular level. A tuning fork inside of you started to vibrate.

Example, as a child, you were one of the first selected for any team. Your self confidence and esteem is high. When a friend is going through an issue of low self esteem, you feel compassion and empathy for them, but it does not “bring you down,” “make you feel your lack of self-confidence.” You vibrate at a different frequency, thus no resonance started to vibrate within you when they talked about their issue.

Do we take on someone else’s pain? I don’t believe so. I think we have the same pain. When we have the same pain as someone else, the resonance within us will start to vibrate making it seem we are taking on someone else’s pain. In essence, it is our pain that is making itself known.

© Tessa Cason, 2021.

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