Ask For What You Need and Want? Includes EFT Tapping Statements
- Do you ask for what you want or do you expect someone else to “know” what you want?
- Do you think that asking for what you want will inconvenience someone?
- Do you think by asking for what you want you will appear selfish and/or arrogant?
- Do you expect your requests to be rejected?
- Do you think that if they loved you, they should know what you want without you having to ask?
- Do you think by telling someone what it is you want and they give it to you means they only did it because their arm was being twisted?
Twice in my life, this issue make an impact on me.
I was a freshman in college. One of the questions on my Sociology final exam was “What grade do you feel you earned in this class?”
Even though I had earned an A on every exam and every paper, I thought it better to be modest than arrogant. I answered a “B.” Can you imagine my shock and surprise when on the final I received an A, but my final grade was a B!
In dismay, I went to see the instructor. He told me I got a B because that’s all I thought I deserved.
“I was being modest,” I told him. “I earned an A.”
“Sorry,” he responded, “the final grades have already been turned it.”
In my 20s, my boyfriend at the time and I decided we needed some “space” to figure out what each of us wanted in the relationship. I wrote him a letter telling him what I needed from him and the relationship. A week later, he still had not responded.
At an appt. with the counselor, I brought it up that I had told him in the form of a letter what I needed from him and the relationship and he had not responded. I was hurt that he didn’t care enough to respond.
The counselor asked me if in my letter, did I ask him to responded to the letter? He may have thought it was just informational.
I looked at her with disbelief and said, “No. He should have known. If I meant enough to him, he would have responded,” I said.
“Wrong. If you wanted something from him, you need to ask for what you need and want. You are making assumptions. You can’t blame him for not doing something that you didn’t ask him for. You didn’t ask. If you ask and they don’t respond, then be concerned.”
Both of these experiences were ah-ha insights for me. I still remember the conversations today as if they happened yesterday.
EFT Tapping statements for Asking for What You Want:
- I can’t ask for what I want or need.
- I expect my requests to be rejected.
- They should know what I need and want.
- It is arrogant to ask for what I need and want.
- I expect others to know what I need and want.
- No one cares enough to fulfill my needs and wants.
- I don’t want to inconvenience anyone with my needs.
- My needs and wants won’t be fulfilled even if I ask for what I need and want.
@ Tessa Cason, 2022.
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